Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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