you would pick up someone in the library
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
