I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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