I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
