You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
