we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
