if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
