I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
