Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
