Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
