If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize