You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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