I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
