why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
whose parrot is this?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
