well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
