Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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