so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
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