She is in my trunk
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
