Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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