She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
