i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
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second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
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Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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