Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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