Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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