I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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