I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
