Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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