I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize
