his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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