I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
