Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize