it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
