also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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