Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
