p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
