he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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