I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
