Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
