I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
