Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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