what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
