So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
