Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
