you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I am midnight drunk by noon
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Hello my rib-scented angel!
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
