he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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