I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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