Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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