yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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