yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
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I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize