my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize