Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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