the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
