the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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