Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
