I want to stick my p in your. b.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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