I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
