Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
