I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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