put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
worst night to have a conscience
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
