the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
