first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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