it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Betty ford says i'm here all night
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He passed out mid-signature
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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