I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
