I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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