You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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