Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm just crazy horny about you
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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